rejection

well, I hate to follow up an audition post with one titled "Rejection", but I am afraid I must. I didn't get the part I auditioned for on friday, and I have to say i'm surprised by my reaction. I must say I was really looking forward to the possibility of this role, and no break from the theatre, but that's obviously not an option any more! I guess I never truly realized how blessed I am to have been given the opportunities that I have been given. the roles i've been able to play have been so rewarding, and so my first meeting with rejection is proving to be difficult. however, one thing an actor must understand is that the director is looking for the best person for a role. I was not what the director was looking for, and you have to accept that fact and move on. there will be more plays!

I'm currently watching 'stage beauty', a great film about women becoming actors. if you haven't seen it yet, and you're interested in the theatre and/or theatre history, I highly recommend it! one of my favorite lines from the movie is:

"a role does not belong to an actor, and actor belongs to a role"

I think that's brilliant, and pretty thought provoking. hopefully I will find more ways to fill my time now that I have a few weeks off from any extra-curricular theatre things.

auditions

I had two auditions yesterday. one fake, one real. during acting class we had a fake director come in and we had to perform monologues as well as do cold readings. it was very interesting and intimidating.. the "director" was very rude (he would cut us off when we were talking, etc.) and because of that, I learned a few important lessons. first and foremost, I learned that in auditions you HAVE to be confident. even though we sat and watched the director's behavior, it was extremely essential to walk up in front of him and be confident. those who walked up shy and unsure of themselves were sure to be disrespected. in the real world, directors are on a time schedule and they don't want to waste their time. the second thing I learned is you have to be yourself. they don't care about much, just how you look and how you act. you have a very short time to impress a director, and you have to be prepared to do so. don't try to be something you're not. it won't help your cause.

my real audition also taught me a few things. it wasn't until I made the decision to read for the role that I realized how much I really wanted the part. and so, going into the auditions I was very nervous because I wanted the role so badly. half way through the audition, my competition showed up, and stayed in the room to watch the rest of my scenes. I felt very awkward because I knew the other woman who was auditioning. I had to come to the realization that this will happen again later on in my career. in the acting world, there will be times when your competition is your best friend. although I haven't found out whether or not I got the part, i've realized that if I don't get it, it is because i'm not the best person for that part. the director has to put on the best show possible, and if I don't get the part it is not because I am a bad actor.

there will always be more plays. and there is much comfort in knowing that.

wow.

opening weekend was AMAZING. the energy from every crowd was a little bit different, and every night was a new enriching experience. opening night was especially great. although there weren't that many people in the audience, they were extremely smart and caught a lot of the witty oscar wilde jokes. friday and saturday's audiences were much bigger, and that gave me a huge adrenaline boost.

here's a glimpse of my backstage life:

I can't believe we only have three more shows until it's over. this is one thing I have never liked about theatre: you work on a play so hard, and for so long, and in the blink of an eye it's gone. sure, you'll always have the memory of the experience, but you will never get the experience itself back again. I will have a nice couple weeks of a break from the theatre, apart from classes; auditions for the next show are not until the end of march. as much as I thought I would be looking forward to this break, I'm not so sure about it anymore.

opening night!

so this week has been filled with tech rehearsals, stage makeup, and wigs, and finally opening night is here! I was hoping to post some pictures from the cool things i've done this week, but I left my camera at the boyfriend's house.. oops! hopefully i'll get it back soon and put up some cool stuff to actually look at.

I'm kind of impressed at how calm I am about opening night. I haven't been on stage in a long time, and i've never been on a stage as big as the one we have here. I'm sure once I start to hear our stage manager begin to call how much time we have left, it will start to hit me. I can't wait!

my first big opening night.. I feel accomplished.

pictures to come soon!

case of the mondays

yes, it's true. I have a case of the mondays. i'm tired and definitely unmotivated to go to a geology class very soon. but! there are a lot of very exciting things going on in the world of the university theatre! tickets for the "An Ideal Husband" go on sale today! it's been such an overwhelming and tiring process to do my first college show, but the rewards have been greater than I could ever imagine.

we have our first full costume, hair, and make-up run through tonight! the press from the local newspapers are coming to take photographs, so needless to say i'm very nervous. but even before all that I have to perform a shakespeare sonnet in acting class today. i've never performed shakespeare, although i've always loved reading his work. so today should definitely be an interesting one!

here is the sonnet i'll be performing:

sonnet #88

when thou shalt be disposed to set me light,
and place my merit in the eye of scorn,
upon thy side against myself i'll fight,
and prove thee virtuous though thou art forsworn.
with mine own weakness being best acquainted,
upon thy part I can set down a story
of faults conceal'd, wherein I am attainted;
that thou in losing me shalt win much glory:
for bending all my loving thoughts on thee,
the injuries that to myself I do,
doing thee vantage, double-vantage me.
such is my love, to thee I belong,
that for thy right, myself will bear all wrong.

first post.

why blog? honestly, i've thought about this question a lot. I have a couple friends who have started blogs, mostly photographers that have interesting things to say and photographs to display. I, however, no longer consider myself an avid photographer. i'm just a normal girl trying to make her way through college as a theatre student.

so again, why blog? I don't know who is going to read this. blogging is a completely self-indulgent process, and it will continue to stay that way. and so, I want to blog for me. I want to improve my writing. I want to remember how I was feeling throughout my college career. I want to express myself.

if anyone does decide to read this blog, I hope that maybe you will get a laugh or get inspired by my random ramblings of life as a college theatre student. if not, at least i'll have a new outlet, a new escape. isn't that what we are all searching for anyway?